To he who never noticed

To he who never noticed -

Hi. I don't know if you ever really noticed me, but I was the girl standing over there in the corner smiling at you the whole night. And all day at school. And all afternoon at the park. Oh and I waved hi to you at the mall, but I don't think you noticed, but it's okay. No, I'm not stalking you, it just so happens that our paths cross all the time and every time they do, it makes me smile. Yet, our paths cross all the time and I don't think you even know my name. That's an exaggeration, I know. I know you know my name, cause we were assigned to work on a history project together. You never actually showed up to work on it, but I didn't mind helping out and doing your share. I mean, that's what friends are for right? And I really liked studying about the space program so it was fine. No worries. I was a little upset though when you didn't show up for prom. You had said that you would dance with me. But again, I understand that you were busy or grounded or something - I'm sure you had a good excuse for forgetting to pick me up like you promised.

I was happy to bump into you at the bookstore. It seemed like ages since last I saw you. And you remembered my name! I could have done cartwheels I was so excited. You didn't need to apologize though for the history project, like I said, I enjoyed studying more about the space program, so it all works out. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with you. Who would have thought that after knowing you for seven years, you would finally want to hang out with me. I know you mean it just as friends, but the way you look into my eyes and that smile you give me I can't help but hope that maybe friendship might lead to something more. That maybe, just maybe you might finally see me.

But there I go again, hoping. It'll forever be my downfall I know. I am so unaccustomed to receiving attention from guys that when ever one does pay attention to me I can't help but hope that maybe there is something deeper behind it. You hold the door open for me and offered to pay for my movie ticket. You waited to see that I made it safely inside the house before you drove off. You shared your thoughts and dreams with me and came to my rescue when I needed help or a shoulder to cry on. We sat up till the early morning hours talking about life, the universe and everything and listening to movie soundtracks and discussing the latest comics. I loved the treat you gave me for my birthday. Walking through the apple orchard in the middle of the night hand in hand was the perfect way to end the evening. Though, it would have been better had you noticed the way I was looking into your blue grey eyes. You had your arm around me and yet I know you felt nothing. My hopes at finally being able to kiss you were dashed that evening.

Here we are now nearly twelve years later. We sit together on the sofa watching tv like an old couple snuggled up under a blanket and sipping hot cocoa. I lay my head on your shoulder and you put your arm around me and we sit and watch tv, making small comments every now and then. We go out for chinese and have our set pattens and customs. You tell the same jokes over again and I complain about work. Like clockwork you show me to the door at two in the morning and we hug. I occassionally pluck up enough courage to kiss you on the cheek, but I don't do it too often because I know it makes you uncomfortable. We say goodnight and the whole scene will repeat in two days time.

Tonight though I'm planning on changing the routine. Tonight is New Years Eve and tonight is the one night in the entire year that I can get away with kissing you and have it not be weird. Cause it's tradition you know - to kiss someone at midnight. If you become very uncomfortable I can save the situation and blame it on the holiday and we'll laugh it off. And if it doesn't make you uncomfortable, perhaps then, finally, after nearly twelve years of being right in front you, you might for one moment notice me and all of the love I have for you.